The First Circuit Court of Appeals criminalizes pooping in your pants. This is not a joke. A poor man shit himself while walking into a federal courthouse in Maine and went to the bathroom to try to clean up. He did a terrible job, leaving 75 percent of the floor covered in feces and smearing it on the walls, toilet and towel dispenser. A judge threw him in jail for a week for his loose bowels. The opinion is hilariously graphic, with comparisons to chunky peanut butter and spaghetti with meat sauce.
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